So... I have a beautiful wife, two great children (who drive me crazy), two dogs, the worlds most dog-like cat, and a house for us all to live in. I work in a creative industry, though my job isn't particularity creative.
So why don't I feel fulfilled? When I look at my Facebook friends and see pictures like
this , I cant help but feel that I should be happy. My wife and I both work and have good jobs. We never really worry about money, if our car was to breakdown, its no big deal and if we want something, we can just buy it. But these things come at a cost. We wake up at 5:30am get the kids up, take them to daycare, commute an hour in LA traffic, work 9 hours in very demanding jobs, then commute back and hour, pick up the kids and have dinner, hopefully at 5:30pm. We come home exhausted and just wanting a break.
Through most of my life I always just did whatever I wanted. Went to college cause my friends were going there, got a job as a Skipper on the World Famous Jungle Cruise, because there was no other job for me, had a great time at both places and met my Wife. Decided that I needed a better job and started working in Video games thinking I was on the inside track to moving into a more creative field.
About four years into my tenure at the Video Game Company, two major events happened that started to shape this multi year rut i,ve been in.
The first, we had recently moved to a new location and had a open family day, where friends and family could come visit and see what was happening. I took my wife to a spot where one of the newer teams were being filled and said to her "Look at all these open spots, my goal is to get one of these spots". I remember the light headed feeling of so much possibility.
The second, I was give a T.A. (temporary Assignment) in the video production department. I was elated, it was in my field of study from College, I was in the same building with all the other creative people. I was working hard and trying to impress because T.A. assignments were known for getting their foot in their door if they did a good job. That first Friday, we got together with other divisions to show what everyone was working on then we sat around and had beers. When people ask me "what is your favorite moment working at a video game company?" This is the story I tell them. Its what I always imagined working in the video game industry would be like.
The next week, the Vice President of Customer Service saw me in the hallway and asked what I was up to. I told him that I was on Temp Assignment with Video Production. The next day I was told that no one in a leadership position in Customer Support was allowed to be on T.A. and they were putting everyone back. It turns out, that I was the only one sent back. Three months later, a pier of mine in my same position, was given a Temp Assignment. They scheduled four meetings with me that day to make sure I was "OK" with it.
The marked difference between those two events I cannot even describe. My time after that was un-fulfilling and ended when 600 people were layed off. Since then I have been working and furthering my career but not actually furthering my passions. This blog which I started working on shortly after that Layoff has always been a fun way to get just my thoughts down on paper, but has never really gone anywhere. I even have a youtube site that I don't use because I cannot settle on topics for it.
However, I am now trying to change. 2016 will be the year I make myself better. My wife and I are both on a new life diet, I have dropped 17 pounds and she has dropped 11. We are trying to be more engaging with our kids and each other.
Im not sure how I am going to re-invigorate my passions but im going to try, so I can at least say that I did.
